Cut Deleted Scenes
by Floofeymarshmallow
Summary: Deleted scenes from my 2014-2015 story 'Cut'. Bits and pieces that I wanted to write into the story but they just never made it into the final cut. I hope you enjoy, but I do warn you, this story contains self harm and a creepy Tucker chapter!
1. Pinako's Discovery

**Pinako's Discovery**

Edward was still adjusting to his automail limbs. He was still rehabilitating and it was one of the most frustrating things he ever had to go through. Well, being without limbs was pretty frustrating, but he was in a daze most of that time. What brought him out of it was that colonel coming to visit him.

Ed managed to walk himself to the bathroom without help. Well, he would have had help if he told someone where he was going, but he was sneaking there.

When he reached the bathroom, he glared into the mirror. He looked awful and pathetic.

 _You couldn't even keep your little brother safe,_ he thought to himself. _You ruined his life. You have to get him back. Mom would hate you for this._

Edward bit his lip until he drew blood. It didn't even feel bad. He took the automail he was still becoming adjusted to, pinching his flesh arm's skin. It was painful, but in a good way. It seemed to bring him peace.

He left the bathroom.

The next day, he returned.

Ed did what he had done before. He pinched his arm with the automail, becoming more adjusted to doing so than he had been before. It was getting a bit easier, anyway. He was just glad he got the privacy to indulge in this small relief.

The next day, it wasn't cutting it anymore. The relief was too dull for him. Edward had to pinch harder until he accidentally ended up splitting the piece of flesh. It dribbled with small beads of blood.

It still didn't feel as good as it could have.

Edward looked into the cabinet and saw a straight razor. He assumed it must have belonged to Winry's father at some point, and silently apologized to the man he thought of as an uncle before rinsing it with water. He then ran it across his skin.

It felt amazing.

It was the most relief Ed had found since his mother died. It made him feel so much better about the situation he was in.

"Brother?" Alphonse asked, knocking on the bathroom door. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine, Al," Edward said. He grabbed a towel in the bathroom, pressing it against the cut on his arm.

"Do you need any help?" the younger brother asked. It wasn't a secret that sometimes Edward needed help with simple tasks like going to the bathroom with his new automail.

"Nope," Ed answered. Once he was finished cleaning up the blood, he pulled the sleeve of his black sweatshirt over the cut, stashing the bloody towel and straight razor underneath the sink. Someone would find it one day, but he wouldn't have to deal with it when that day came.

Edward walked out with a small smile on his face. "Sorry I worried you, Al," he apologized.

"I'm just glad to see you smiling again, brother," Alphonse said. "Granny made lunch. She said it's good practice for your automail to feed yourself."

"Sure, I'll be down in a minute. I just have to do something," Ed said. Alphonse nodded, walking downstairs. Edward went to the room he had been sharing with his younger brother, sitting on the bed and enjoying his new-found relief. He had finally found something he could abide by now that his mother was gone.

* * *

"What is this?" Pinako asked as she held up the bloody towel and straight razor. She had immediately gone to Winry with this question. She assumed that maybe Winry had begun puberty, being nearly twelve years old. The woman hadn't come up with an explanation for the razor yet.

"I don't know, grandma," Winry answered. "Maybe it was Ed?"

"You and Alphonse stay out here, understand?" Pinako ordered. Winry nodded, as did Alphonse he happened to be nearby. The woman walked upstairs to the patients room where Edward had been staying.

"Ed..." Pinako trailed off.

"Yeah?" Edward responded.

The woman sighed and sat down beside the bed. "Ed, you have to understand that I've been around for a long time."

"I think I got that by now," Ed joked with a small smirk.

"I found a bloody towel and Urey's straight razor underneath the sink," Pinako said.

"...You did...?" the blonde boy asked.

"Were you responsible for this?" the woman asked bluntly. She was sick of dancing around the subject.

"What would I possibly have done with a straight razor and a towel? Plus that thing has blood on it," Ed said. "I'm obviously not bleeding or anything."

"Well, then, you won't mind if I do a check-up," Pinako said.

"W-What?"

"I told you I've been around for a long time," Pinako mentioned once again. "I've seen people who cut their bodies to feel better. In fact, a lot of the patients I treat admit to it."

"I didn't..." Edward trailed off. Because he did.

Pinako gently took hold of the boy's flesh arm, raising the black sleeve to reveal the puffy pink line.

"When did you do this?" she asked.

"A couple days ago..." Ed answered quietly. He couldn't even look her in the eyes.

"I'm not going to tell you to stop," Pinako said. "This is something you're responsible for. Just clean up your mess."

"Yes, ma'am," Edward said. Just before Pinako left the room, he spoke again. "Um...are you gonna tell Alphonse and Winry?"

"No."

* * *

 **I know that in the original story Pinako claimed that Edward didn't even know that she knew about his cutting, but this was an idea I had wanted to do and just never got the chance.**


	2. A Day Out

**A Day Out**

"You sure you aren't trying to take me to another hospital?" Edward asked when he had been driving with Havoc for quite a bit. Honestly, the teenager hadn't spent a lot of time with the man since Havoc had told him about his sister. He felt quite guilty about not coming to him, even with all the bad thoughts he had been having lately.

"Trust me, I'm not taking you to another hospital," Havoc said with a smirk and a light chuckle. Ed liked Havoc's chuckles better. They actually sounded kind as opposed to the colonel's arrogant one.

"Then will you tell me where we are going?" the blonde boy asked. Havoc had picked him up from Mustang's house announcing that they would be spending a therapeutic day out together. Ed was hesitant, obviously.

"It's a surprise, Ed," Havoc said, still smirking. He was obviously happy about his 'surprise'.

Just when the teenager was getting bored enough that he was prepared to break a window in the car or try and crash it, they pulled into a parking space in front of a large building.

"Is this a gym?" Edward asked. "You think I'm packing on the pounds or something?" he joked.

"Very funny." Havoc laughed. "I thought you needed to get off some of that pent up anger and stress. You've been steaming around the colonel's house for a while. I needed to bust you out for a day."

"How am I going to get rid of stress and anger at a gym?" Ed asked. "Am I gonna treadmill it to death?"

"Nope," Havoc said. He guided the teenager inside the building, signing them in at the front desk. Apparently the man had been there before. Havoc guided him to a special room that had boxing gloves and a large punching bag swinging in the middle.

"Is this a joke?" Ed asked.

"No, it's not," Havoc answered. "I thought this would be good for you. I also have someone for you to meet."

Just as Edward was about to ask who the hell the soldier thought he would want to meet, a girl with strawberry blonde hair and blue eyes walked into the room. She was wearing yoga pants and a tank-top, but what grabbed Ed's attention was the tattooed sleeves she had.

"Ed, this is Brenne," Havoc introduced. "She's my sister. Brenne, this is Ed, the kid I told you about that I work with."

"It's nice to meet you, Ed," Brenne greeted. She held out a hand to shake Edward's. He brought up his automail hand and shook it loosely.

"Brenne owns the gym, so she lets me and anyone I want in here for free," Havoc explained. "She actually suggested that you come here."

"I thought it would be a great way to get some private time to think," Brenne said. "I know that when I get really stressed out and feeling like I want to hurt myself, I just come in here and throw out a few punches. You'd be amazed with what the exercise does with stress."

"I already get exercise," Edward said, rolling his eyes. "I'm a State Alchemist for fuck's sake."

"Just try it, okay?" Havoc suggested. Ed rolled his eyes once again before letting out a sigh.

"Fine."

"You should probably remove your coat," Brenne suggested. Edward gave her a funny look. "I know, I know, you're probably not comfortable with it, but it'll be a lot easier if you're not wearing it."

Ed groaned a bit. Taking off his coat meant revealing the scars and cuts on his arm. But this _was_ Havoc's sister, which meant that she had been in his same situation when she was younger. She was recovered now.

He removed his coat, throwing it on a bench that was conveniently placed in the room. Afterward, Brenne helped him put the boxing gloves on, showing him how to properly punch the punching bag without hurting his hands. He needed that instruction just as much as he needed a right boxing glove, but allowed her to show him proper technique anyway.

What really amazed Edward was that Brenne had seen his entire arm. All he had underneath his red coat was a navy blue tank-top, which revealed the entire length of his scars and cuts. She never said a thing. He supposed that she wouldn't, as she had been in the same situation before.

Ed had to admit that Brenne was right. The punching felt amazing when he imagined them as faces of people he hated.

He refused to admit that he punched softer than he had expected when he imagined Mustang's face was on the punching bag.

They were there for hours. Havoc thought to call the kid off for something to eat, but he was getting so much done. He couldn't say for sure that Edward wasn't thinking about hurting himself. He did know that he _wasn't_ hurting himself.

Eventually, Edward grew tired. He forced his legs to bring him to the bench that Havoc and Brenne had been sitting at.

"You done?" Havoc asked with an amused smirk. He wouldn't tell the kid that he was amusing, though. That might just piss him off.

"Mhm," Ed sounded out with a small nod. He just felt like sleeping.

"We're gonna head out, Brenne. Thanks for this," Havoc thanked.

"No problem, you guys are welcome any time," Brenne said. "If you want, you can just drop him off here and I'll keep an eye out for him. I'm always here during work hours, and if I'm not, you'll know it."

"I'll have to talk to the colonel about it; he's the one in charge of Ed right now," Havoc said. Edward was beginning to grow annoyed with them speaking about him as if he were not sitting right beside them. "Okay, we're going now." Havoc could sense the frustration coming off the kid.

Havoc drove Edward back to Mustang's house and the kid was asleep. The blonde man should have guessed this would happen; Ed had been exhausted after all that punching.

Without another thought, Havoc stepped out of the car and pulled the teenager into his arms. He grunted under the weight of the automail and silently wished for the strength Alphonse's armor possessed.

"That took a while," Mustang said as he guided Havoc to Edward's room. "What were you guys doing?"

"I took him to my sister's gym," Havoc answered, placing Ed in his bed and beginning to remove his boots. He also removed his belt to make him more comfortable, but was _not_ going to remove his pants. "Figured that he should let off some steam by punching for a while."

"That's a good idea," Mustang mused.

"She said that you're welcome to take him by any time. I was thinking about dropping him off there in a couple days before work if you wouldn't mind," Havoc mentioned.

"Not at all, just make sure I know in advance," Mustang said. "Hawkeye gets frustrated when there isn't planning involved and I have to hear _all_ about it."

"Yessir," Havoc slurred. "I'm gonna head out of here. Thanks for letting me take him there, colonel. I think he needed it."

"No problem," Mustang said. "He _did_ need it." He looked down at the teen, who seemed content while sleeping. "This might need to become a regular thing. He looks a lot better right now."

"As opposed to?" Havoc asked.

"Tossing and turning in his sleep," Mustang explained. "He's been doing it for about a week. Sometimes he gets dead tired, though. I don't know if it's one of these times or if it's just because of the exercise right now, though."

"Well, I'm out of here," Havoc said. "Good luck." The blonde man then left.

Mustang chuckled softly. "Punching, huh," he said to himself. "Probably imagining my face on that bag the whole time." He then walked out of the bedroom.

* * *

 **So I named Havoc's sister after the person who suggested the idea of Ed going to a boxing gym to let out some steam. It was originally supposed to be in the story, but I never got around to it. I'm glad I finally got to write it here, because it was a blast!**


	3. Tucker's Sick Mind

**Tucker's Sick Mind**

Tucker was doing research in his home when the loud knock came on his door. There was only one type of people that knocked that loud - MP's.

The man sighed, walking to the door. He knew that Edward had gone over to the Investigation Officer's home, as they had become good friends. Well, more like the man had become a fatherly figure toward the twelve-year old boy. Tucker silently wondered what trouble had been caused.

He opened the door to see the Investigation Officer - Hughes - holding Edward in his arms like an infant. The boy seemed to be out cold.

"Oh dear," Tucker said gently. "What happened?" he asked.

"I was called to a crime scene and brought Ed with me," Hughes answered as he was lead by Tucker to the bedroom Edward had been occupying. "He had a panic attack before passing out. Gave us all a scare."

"That does sound frightening," Tucker said. "Poor boy."

"Yeah." Hughes placed Edward into his bed, removing his boots and belt. He nearly removed the kid's red coat, but decided against it. "He'll be all right here while I get back to that crime scene?" the officer asked for confirmation.

"Of course, I'll take care of him from here," Tucker said. "I hope you catch that man that's been killing all these people."

"You and me both," Hughes said before he left the two of them alone.

Tucker then worked on removing the pre-teen's coat. While Hughes thought it would be better for the blonde boy's red coat to stay on, Tucker didn't. He was surprised when he removed it and found another black jacket.

The Alchemist knew this appeared to be troublesome. He removed the smaller black jacket to see that the boy had light cuts on his left wrist, as well as a swollen pink scar.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say that was done with a straight razor," Tucker said to himself.

He allowed the boy to sleep for a while. He would need his rest.

Edward awoke an hour and a half later. The first thing the boy did was jump in the bed, still imagining what he had envisioned before he passed out. Tucker was sitting beside the bed on a chair, reading a book when this happened.

"You gave us quite a scare," Tucker said in a gentle, quiet voice, so as not to frighten the boy any further. "You were crying out for your mother while you slept."

Ed stayed silent, not meeting Tucker's eyes.

"It's not hard to deduce that you committed the ultimate taboo that is human transmutation." When Tucker said this, Edward's hazel eyes grew wide. Fear or shock was the Alchemist's best bet.

"Are you going to tell anyone?" Edward asked, quieter than even Tucker was speaking.

"There's a number of things I could tell people," was all Tucker responded with. "For example, the cuts on the wrist and the scar you've obtained. You probably can't even look me in the eye and tell me those weren't self-inflicted."

"...Where are my clothes?" Edward asked. He was just glad his pants were still on. The amount of cuts and scars there were tremendous from the past couple of years in his grieving.

"Right here," Tucker said, placing the clothing on the bed. Edward stood, hurriedly grabbing his shirt and throwing it on. He left his jacket and coat off as he made way for the restroom. "Where are you going?"

"...The bathroom...?" Ed answered, staring at the Alchemist as if he had two heads.

"You're going to cut yourself again, aren't you?" Tucker asked. Edward looked down at his sock-clad feet. "I want you to do it in front of me."

"W-What?" Ed asked.

"You heard me," Tucker said. "I want you to take whatever you use to cut yourself and do it in front of me. I want to watch."

"You're sick," Edward said.

"Not as sick as you." The older man grinned. "You're the one who mutilates his own arm for satisfaction. Sounds like masochism to me."

"Shut up!" Ed shouted.

"Brother?" Alphonse's concerned voice sounded from outside and downstairs. It was faint, but Edward had been trained to hear that voice.

"Stay downstairs!" Edward called to his younger brother. He wouldn't risk leaving the room without his extra clothing now. The teenager dipped underneath the bed, grabbing the secret stash he kept in a compartment in his suitcase. Alphonse never looked there.

"Are you going to do it?" Tucker asked.

Ed didn't answer, simply bringing up the stash of razors he kept. He grabbed his favorite one, which was a small one from a simple pencil sharpener that he had unscrewed.

He sat back down on the bed. Another glance at the door confirmed that it was in fact unlocked. Alphonse could walk in at any moment, but Edward had a nagging feeling that if he did, Tucker would be the one to get the majority of the blame. His punishment would come later.

Edward took the razor, gliding it against his skin. He never pushed down. He wasn't suicidal.

The relief he usually felt arrived right on cue. Ed let out a breath of relief, dropping the razor onto the bed in his moment of bliss.

Tucker grinned before grabbing the stash of razors, including Edward's favorite one, and walking out of the room.

"Hey!" Ed called out. He hurriedly threw his coat on, running after the man to get him. He was stopped by a much larger man when he reached the outside of the room.

"Elric brothers, you've been digging into the personal life of Shou Tucker and I won't have it. His files are strictly confidential under my jurisdiction. I can't allow you to continue living with mister Tucker under these circumstances," the man - who Edward later discovered was General Grande - explained.

Ed couldn't say he was angry at the situation. While a bit worried about Nina, Edward was glad that he could get out of there. He didn't want to be Tucker's plaything whenever he felt like cutting himself.

* * *

When Edward and Alphonse found Nina, the blonde went and cut himself again. It was more like an accident. A bit of glass from Tucker's glasses had shattered and ripped through Ed's glove. When Alphonse was comforting Nina, Ed had taken the small bits of glass and shredded them through his own flesh.

He covered up the bleeding when General Grande punched him in the stomach. He had happened to cough up a bit of blood into his glove, and covered it up with that excuse. Alphonse didn't question it, anyway. He was concerned for Nina.

What really hurt was when Mustang had been yelling at Edward and grabbed his hand. Ed had tried to back away, wanted to hide behind Alphonse when the colonel had begun to yell, and acted as if he might hit the pre-teen. Edward suppressed the pain, biting his own lip to keep from calling out in pain.

"Grow up, kid," Mustang said before walking away.

 _I'll show him,_ Ed thought.

* * *

 **So, in my mind, Tucker's always been a creep. I don't know if anyone else felt this way, but I always have him be the creepy, perverted, gross, pedophile type because that's just how I see him. Anyway, enjoy! I turn legal on Thursday anyway.**


	4. Barry the Chopper

Chapter Four: Barry the Chopper

Edward's vision was brought back from a haze of consciousness, discovering he was tied to a chair. His automail arm was also gone.

"Good morning, mister Alchemist," a familiar voice said. The woman Edward had tried to save was standing in front of him, holding his automail arm. "Word around the street is that you can transmute without circles. So I took some precautions."

"Are you the one who's been doing this?" Ed asked. The woman chuckled, removing a wig to reveal that she was in fact a he. "A man in women's clothing?"

"No one would suspect a lady to do any of this," the man said. "My name is Barry; Barry the chopper."

"You're sick," Edward spat.

"Apparently both of us are," Barry said, grinning. "

"What are you talking about?"

"You thought I wouldn't notice those cuts on your wrist?" Barry asked. "And the ones on your shoulder. I did strip you after all."

Ed remained silent. He glanced to one of the corners in the room and saw his red coat laying on the ground. The chopper must have left it there when he stripped him.

"I have another surprise for you," Barry said. He moved backward, grabbing chains and pulling them forward.

Winry stumbled, her wrist attached to the chain. She had cloth wrapped around her face to keep her from screaming, but that didn't mean she didn't try.

"Winry!" Edward shouted. "Let her go, you sick bastard!"

"What do you think, girl?" Barry asked Winry. "What do you think about how your friend deliberately slices up his own skin?"

Winry made muffled sounds. Ed couldn't even look her in the eyes, and he didn't know if that was because he was ashamed of what he had done to himself, or if he didn't want to see the fear in her eyes when he couldn't save her.

Thankfully, Edward still had that screw that Winry had dropped when she was taken. While Barry the chopper was going into a full rant about how Ed was just as demented as he was, and how he had killed people before, Edward was carving a transmutation circle into the chair.

The flash of light was bright and momentarily blinded the killer before he realized what happened. The kid had just transmuted himself out of his bonds.

"You little!" Barry shouted. Edward let out a scream, moving out of the way just in time for the chopper to crash his butcher knife in the space the blonde boy had previously occupied.

Ed ran toward the meat, trying to get away. He wasn't going to leave Winry, but the thought did cross his mind that he should get some help.

Of course, the chopper was right on his tail. The first thing Edward did when he ran toward the meat was make round a circle and grab his automail arm.

Pain surged through him when he hooked it up, the nerves connecting. His ears were still ringing when he went running.

He was quick to get to Winry, and tried with all his power to get the chain unhooked from her wrists. She was too tightly bound. The blonde girl started making more muffled screams when she saw Barry headed toward Edward. He went off running again, hating to leave her there. Thankfully, the chopper was too focused with the young alchemist to even care about her.

Edward ran into a meat slab, Barry crashing into the back of them and forcing the two of them to tumble down to the floor.

Ed closed his eyes tight, transmuting his automail into a blade and immediately slashing into anything he could find.

The slash met with a metal pang. Edward opened his eyes.

"It'll take a lot more than that to kill me, brother," Alphonse said gently.

"...Al..." Ed trailed off. He looked down at the ground where he was hunched over on his hands and knees. His arms had slashes all over them from the altercation with the killer. Luckily, that's what they looked like they were from. No one would think anything of the self-inflicted wounds.

The blonde boy couldn't stop the tears that flowed from his eyes. He practically curled into Alphonse's armor.

"I was so scared..." Edward trailed off. "So scared...I honestly thought I was gonna die..."

* * *

Ed had been left alone while Alphonse spoke to Hughes, thanking him for coming to help and saying everything he needed to say.

"Hey, Ed..." Winry trailed off, standing in front of her friend now.

"Winry..."

"Is it true?" the blonde girl asked. Edward didn't have to ask what she was talking about. He simply nodded. "Why?"

"It seemed like the best thing to do at the time," Ed answered.

"Cutting your own arm?" Winry asked. "Was it...was it you that used that towel and..." Of course the girl hadn't forgotten about it. It had been a big mystery to her.

"Yeah..." Edward trailed off. Winry wrapped her arms around him, hugging the pre-teen close to her.

"I'm sorry I didn't help you when you needed it," Winry said softly.

"It's okay," Ed responded. "I'm not gonna do it anymore."

Winry knew that he would.

She told no one.

* * *

 **So I played a little with Pinako knowing about Ed's cutting, now I played with Winry knowing too. Sorry this took so long to post - it was already written, but I just got so busy. There may or may not be more to come.**


	5. Distraction

**Chapter Five: Distraction**

It all happened so fast. Trisha had taken Alphonse to Pinako's house to get looked over after contracting Chicken Pox and Hohenheim was left watching Ed. Surely he didn't mind looking after his five-year old, but he had never been left home alone with him before.

They were currently outside of the house; Hohenheim was sitting on the porch while Ed ran around chasing the bees that buzzed around the yard. Hohenheim hadn't even noticed what Edward was chasing until the boy let out a loud cry of pain.

"Daddy!" Ed cried out, running over to his father and producing his knee. The normally sun kissed flesh now held a dark red color with a bee stinger sticking out of it.

"You shouldn't chase bees, Edward," Hohenheim scolded lightly. He lifted the blonde off the ground and onto his lap, promptly removing the stinger.

"It hurts, daddy," Ed said, though refused to cry. Trisha thought it was somewhat sweet and sad all at the same time that their eldest tried to be tough.

"You know what I do when something hurts?" Ed shook his head. "I bite on my finger to distract myself from the pain."

"Like this?" Ed asked before biting onto his thumb to demonstrate his understanding.

"That's exactly right," Hohenheim said. "Does your knee feel better?"

Ed shrugged.

"I guess so."

* * *

Another year of Alphonse not having a body. Another god damn year of them searching for the stone. Ed was fifteen now. Al would be fourteen in a month. They were just wasting time and Ed was sick of it.

"Something the matter, brother?" Alphonse asked when Edward slammed his hands on the desk in their dorm and began walking to the bathroom.

"No," Ed fibbed. Even without a body, Alphonse didn't look convinced. "The research is just going a little slow. I'm gonna take a shower to clear my head a little."

"All right, brother."

Ed made his way to the bathroom, shutting the door quietly behind him. He didn't need Al thinking that he was getting frustrated like this. There were some things a guy needed to keep to himself.

"Distract the pain," Ed mumbled to himself. He turned on the shower and sat on the toilet, gripping the small razor he kept on him at all times now.

"Distract yourself from the pain."

* * *

 **Short, short, but I thought this up today when I was working out.**

 **Basically, when I was younger and I would get hurt, my dad would ask me if I wanted him to stomp on my foot to distract me from the pain. As I got older, I used this method of distraction quite a bit through my eight years of self-harm. Thankfully, I am now 113 days clean.**


End file.
